Bailout bill ridiculousness

So basically the Senate's version of the bailout bill is the House bill with a handful of bones thrown in that have NOTHING TO DO with us so-called “Main Street” people. Temporarily raise the FDIC insurance cap to $250,000 from $100,000? Thank you, Senators! Like we have five-figure savings accounts let alone six? And from the like they weren't going to do this anyway at some point department: relief for another year from the Alternative Minimum Tax! Not that I would qualify anyway, but here's a better idea: just fix it already so that it affects who it was intended to affect in the first place and you can stop wasting time "relieving" it every year or two—adjusting for inflation: not an advanced concept. But wait, there is one add-on that is almost a progressive measure: “extend[ing] a number of renewable energy tax breaks for individuals and businesses, including a deduction for the purchase of solar panels”—because we the good people of Main Street can afford solar panels! Yeah, right.

No, our wonderful Senators can't give us a bill with a single progressive addition that would truly benefit we the little people of Main Street. Regulate the financial industry? We can't have the government meddling so (which is totally different than seeking a $700,000,000,000 handout—like totally). How about a provision to make the minimum wage an actual living wage? Or even just a little raise? Oh no, that would mean fewer jobs because, you know, small business owners would either not hire anybody and do all of the work themselves or else close up shop, give up on their business, and get a middle management job working for someone else. Nevermind that good-paying jobs are what give us the money to buy the small business owner's goods or services, and give us the ability and security to get the credit our good Senators so want to be there for us. Or better yet: tie this bailout to the introduction of a maximum wage where a company's executive salaries are tied to a percentage above their employees' median wage. Oh—no, no, no—let's be serious.